Someone call 777

Okay, on my way back from work, I see this crazy crash on Fahaheel Expressway, the 30 for you foreigners. Both sides were jammed. The South direction had 4 cars crashed and the North side had 2 cars crashed. I haven't seen anything like it, both sides of the highway. So I call 777 like any law abiding citzen would. Doing the right thing. So I call and this chick picks up like instantly, it didnt even ring. I'm like damn woman are you phsycic or something. So the conversation goes like this:

Chick:( she blurbs something like) 777 emergency line
Me: (Slow motion) Alooo... Isalam 3alaikom.... Fee 7ad...
Chick: Anybody hurt
Me: No what I don't know I passed like 10 km back (as I zoom by at 140)
Chick: Did you see if anybody is hurt
Me : I don't rememb...
Chick: Inzain ba7walick 3ala wa7i..
Guy: Is anybody hurt
Me: Noo.. Just listen to what I have to say
Guy: Give me ur phone and name please

So I give him my information and the conversation ends.

Two seconds later a guy calls me probably police station 38######. So I have to explain the story again and he asks the same set of questions if I or someone else is hurt. And they kept oon insisting if someone is hurt. I'm like its just that police need to clear the streets.

3 Mins later a Mobile calls 98###### and it's the dispatch guy in the ambulance, and I tell him I'm half way to Kuwait City and the accident is near Sahil Sports club and again "Are you hurt or someone else is hurt?" and you know the story.

When I reach the 4th Ring road someone else calls me maybe an investigator 24#####

Him: Are you at the site of the accident
Me: No
Him: Ok thanks bye

I AM NEVER gonna call 777 unless I am burning to death. Screw the Good Sumairatin Law. The only good side to this whole thing is that they have improved thier service time from 15 mins to instantly annoying.

Minimum Charge

The other day I went to Astra Lounge with a bunch of my friends after dinner, we just wanted to drink some tea and chill. It was around 10 and the place was empty there were two girls, actually women, old women thinking they were young, but they left by the time we ordered. Anyways, we saw that they had a minimum charge of 3 KD per person, which would be ok if we were ordering food, but we just went there for tea and deserts as an alternative to Qasid 5air for my izgirty friends who would die before they would be seen in a sheesha place. So after we order the check, it comes upto about 5.500 KD, but we still have to pay 12 KD, since we were four. So my friend comes up with this idea of ordering food until we reach the 12 KD limit and just look at it for revenge, kinda. So I say 7aram we can't just look at the food and not eat it we might as well order something we can use. I suggest to buy bottles of water 'till the bill reaches 12 KD. We ended up with 5 bottles and you know it I got the extra bottle. The lesson here kids is, whenever you don't meet the minimum charge requirement, a 2L bottle of Evian saves the day.

You can take the Girl out of Farwaniya but you can't take the Farwaniya out of the girl

Its been almost two years since I got back from the States and I've noticed that the driving here is terrible. I know, so what's new you ask? Well since I started working I have to commute half an hour to work so I get to see a lot of cars from all parts of Kuwait (except for Jahra, they are from a different country). I decided to rate the driving skills as per Governate from best to worst:

Hawalli:

They tend to be the most polite, they get out of the way if you try to rear end them and if they are in a hurry they won't go after your bumper or use the emergency lane they will just go around you.

Capital: (I'm one of them)

These drivers think they are the $#!+, they will stick to your @$$ as if they own the road or something. Only governate to know how to use the turning signals, and they do occasionally get out of the way if you use the horn or the flasher.

Mubarak Al-Kabeer, and Ahmadi:

These two governates drive in the same way. Cars of choice are Camry with tacky chrome accents or a Wanait (white with some red stripes on the side). It's always a guy driving with the left hand on the window sill and the right hand extended straight on the steering wheel. The 3gall mayil, and half the teeth missing. These guys will run you over before they even think of using the breaks. They will almost never change the lane if you are speeding behind them. The worst of them will stop at no cost, and I once saw a guy use the emergency lane for 500 m going 160. The only reason they are not last is that they use the flasher to warn you before the crash into you.

Farwaniya:

By far the worst drivers, they are so obnoxious and oblivious about their surrounding world, the wouldn't know a speeding truck if it hit them in the blinkers. They are the slowest drivers, they go below the minimum speed (@$$holes) and they will never change the lane NEVERRRR. I hate with passion. I can't figure out why they drive so bad, maybe because they live in a highly crowded are with no rules of the road. If you have ever been to Farwaniya or Jeleeb al Shiyokh its survival of the craziest.

Jahra:

No information on them 'cause there is so little of them, or at least so little in the places I drive.

Saudi Arabia:

It is as if these people have nothing to do in their country. Every Thursday I see them flood in from my way back from work. They fall in between Ahmadi and Farwaniya drivers, which pisses me off. These people should be banned from Kuwait, just because of their crappy driving, not to mention how trashy they are, but that's another story on another book.

Now that they have changed the licence plates to resemble something designed by a Saudi, it's hard to find who's from where, but I hope my blog gives you a small guide.

Two Faucets are Better than One

I was wondering what to write and thought I would come up with something on my business trip to Manchester, UK. On my transit in Heathrow I stumbled on my subject. As I went to wash my hands in the BA lounge I found that there two faucets in one basin. One for the hot and one for the cold, no mixer. How the hell do you use that. I filled my hands with the cold water then mixed it with the hot. I was perplexed and baffled as to how to use this because the right hand is freezing like Antarctica and the left is boiling like a volcano filled with lava. This is definitely the most unergonomic (your SAT word of the day) invention ever. I asked my family in my Grandma's house to see if they had the answer to this puzzle, thinking the best minds in Kuwait can figure this out. I few things were thrown in the air but what I found to be the most interesting way to use it was to fill the basin with water. DISGUSTING! This was the most confident answer but I still think there is a better way. Imagine, just imagine washing your hands after eating Immawash Imrabian with your hands, you'd flood the basin with rice and shrimpy bits, Yugh! If any one has an answer to how this absurd thing is used please fill me in.

Average Mo.

I noticed this phenomenon when I went to Omra in Mecca. I found the Saudis calling the Indian servers at Tazej Mohammed. Any Indian they saw they called Mohammed. The problem was that all these servers had name tags. When I came back I noticed the Kuwaities doing the same thing. How absurd! why Mohammed, out of all names for Indians why Mohammed. I have never met one Indian named Mohammed, not one. The closest thing I got to an Indian named Mohammed is a Pakistani I know named Mohammed. Most Indians I have met are named Kumar, Raju, Ashok, Thomas, Krishna, or the evermore famous Babu. These guys didn't even say Baisab [Brother], but preffered Mohammed. This thing ticked me off so much I had to find out the reason, why these people use this name. The best answer I got was that Mohammed is good name. I agree Mohammed is great Muslim name, it is the name of our Prophet Mohammed. The thing that's even worse is... is that no one gets a response from the name. Indians don't resposnd to this name because that isn't their name. So if you ever have the urge to shout out Mohammed, just remember that Kumar, Raju, Ashok, Thomas, Krishna, or Babu will get you served much faster.

First thing's First

It's been about a year and a half since I got back from the States after completing my studies to get my B.S. I used to read this cartoon from university called Sanity Not Included which made fun of life on campus and how crappy the college town is. When I got back, I noticed so many things that are crappy here and I thought about starting this blog. You see one thing you don't know about me is that I'm the laziest organism on this planet; it took me more than a year to start this blog.